'Ole Girls Club

  • 'Ole Girls Club

    Study – Don’t Compare


    I think we all have a problem comparing some aspect of our lives to other people at some time in our lives or another.  But doing this is so painful.  When you’re comparing, you’re leaving the present and trying to put yourself into some alternative reality.  Now if you want a different reality, that’s fine, but then make a plan to get there.


    Another thing to remember is  that if you have exactly what they have, you have their life, and not yours which may sound good for a second but I’m sure there are a lot of things about your own life that you wouldn’t want to give up.  Once you start thinking about a significant other, kids, pets, family, talent etc etc that you have, you’ll be grateful for what you do have. Instead of comparing and having that burning feeling in your belly, that cold sweat of not achieving enough, get out a notebook, a phone app, or a giant piece of poster board and start taking notes of the things that you do want and are what is working for someone else.  Study those people who you would like to emulate or who have the things that you think you want.  See what they are up to and look to them to give you clues but don’t feel jealous (while this is hard) because you are trying to take from their joy.  Let them shine and learn how you can too!


    Tim Ferris is a great example of someone who is very successful.  He has learned many things by talking to other even more successful people for his books, podcasts, and social media posts,.  He enjoys talking with them and learning from them.  He doesn’t say “I wish I were Tony Robbins.”  Instead, he figures out how he can talk to Tony Robbins and learn from him to improve his own Tim Ferris life and the life of his audience.


    Also when you are sending out these negative thoughts it’s like you are sending negative mojo to these people who you are comparing yourself to.  If you actually wrote down these thoughts and sent them to this person, you would be embarrassed and it would sound pretty mean (at least some thoughts I have had are pretty rude.  I am embarrassed when I catch myself).


    I have done a lot of listening and watching my young daughters recently and they are constantly learning from other people.  They trace a picture to learn to draw.  They follow along with a song or poem to learn to read.  They watch the figure skater to learn to skate and say “I want to do that too.”  They don’t ever wish that skill away from someone so that they can have it. They get that they can have it too.  The get that they should be happy for the other’s success and hard work.  So we should follow their lead and study but not compare.


    Because isn’t life a journey of studying and learning. So don’t worry about when you get somewhere because if you check everything off of your list now then what?!?!?  What fun do you have for the future.  So enjoy the learning.  Enjoy the studying and keep finding new things to reach for.  If you think of it that way, you’ll never lose your zest for learning and improving.